16-7-2006

Ellaeenah

Before I speak today, I’m going to ask a few of you to share your places of being stuck or your areas of doubt and then I’m going to take all those and use those as my spur or my catalyst.

Procrastination

Sense of purposelessness

I don’t find any profession worth following, which is fulfilling for me. I don’t find a sense of fulfillment.

I have difficulty getting people to work with me; to actually physically work with me.

I find it very difficult to understand what I want from life.

Getting business, asking for business and getting it on a sustained basis.

A reluctance to commit myself to anything.

Though I work very hard at a situation, it just does not go away…it’s as though there is a wall which prevents anything I do from going through.

I seem to attract only those men in my life who put me down, berate me.

I blame myself about things, even small issues and thus I find it hard to sustain relationships because of that.

Thank you all. You’ve given me huge areas to work with; thank you very much.         

Procrastination. Inability to ask for business. Inability to successfully get out of a situation. Sense of no fulfillment in what I do. A lack of purpose in my life and a sense of despondency that results from that lack of purpose. The blame that I apportion to myself. The people I draw into my life. The people who don’t wish to work with me……. All of this only comes from one area; LACK OF DEFINITION OF WHO YOU ARE. Whenever there is an area which seems to be stubbornly present in your life, which doesn’t seem to get resolved, all it is telling you is I’m going to dig my heels and stay here till you shout out to the Universe who YOU ARE. And you can beat yourself up and you can beat others up and you can beat me up but I am not going to budge because I AM Divine.

So what does it mean when it states define who you are? Instantly, for most of us, we are going to use spiritual terms and phases that we have learnt by heart; it’s become another language with us. It’s replaced English and yet, it’s this very language that we use that causes these situations, this sense of futility, to just remain stagnant. If you can, make a shift in your perception and define yourself in completely non-spiritual terms. Don’t define yourself as spirit, don’t define yourself soul, as light, as power, as love, as God. Then how do you define yourself?

Silla: Human being

Thank you, Silla. Yes, friends, that is the answer!!! Then you would define yourself as a human being. And then, what is the purpose of life? TO BE THE BEST HUMAN BEING THAT YOU ARE. What will give you a sense of fulfillment is when, through that work, you experience yourself as the best human being that you are. When will you not find it uncomfortable, P, to ask for work? When you are comfortable being the human being that you are. When will the wall of a situation come down? When you know who is that human being involved in that situation. When will you stop blaming yourself? When you forgive yourself for being a human being. And yet, S, what an unhappy statement that is, where you come to a stage in your life, where you need to forgive yourself for being that which you are. So you procrastinate, S. Why? Because you don’t know what kind of human being you are, and therefore, you are so scared that a particular situation will bring to you that fact of who you are, and you are apprehensive whether you will be able to see this truth or not, that you would rather not undertake the task at all!

Next time you need to define yourself, use human terms. Stop using spiritual terminology. The use of that language has now finally become our greatest hurdle because you never understood fully why you were being taught that language in the first place. You were not taught that language so that you could replace the language you were used to; you were taught that language so that you could enhance the language you were used to. And what we have all done is tried to replace it, and we have to a certain extent, but in replacing that language, we have lost the essence of ourselves, and we stay in places and spaces, in our lives, which are unfulfilling, from where we feel there is just no movement forward. And you know, that is true…. there is no movement forward, because you have defined yourself using a language that is not your mother-tongue.

If I ask you define yourself in Chinese, would you be able to do it? No. Even if I teach you the words and yet, won’t the words seem strange? We are using ‘Chinese’ to define ourselves and amongst us M is the only one who knows 150 words of Chinese. (Laughter) Take a few moments, friends, and this time, for the first time, define yourself in the terms of a human being. Don’t use words like, ‘energy’, ‘positive’, ‘negative’, ‘love’, ‘power’, everything, nothing. Just forget that language. Define yourself again. You can use the phrases ‘I have grown into’ and ‘I am growing into’.

When you know consciously what you have already grown into, then you can use the strength of that growth to empower areas that you are growing into. So I, personally, would use the strength of Acceptance, which I have grown into, in order to empower Patience, which is an area I am growing into. And I can see then that I already have the answer within me; that I do not have to ever look for an external ‘Master’ in my life.  I do not need a guru… in fact, I don’t even need a God because I have all the powers within me. I have the strength of Acceptance, which will empower the Patience that I am growing into.

So you are stuck in a situation and it seems larger than life to you. Instantly understand that when the situation seems larger than life, it is because you have reduced yourself to a very small human being; like Alice in Wonderland, you drank that medicine and became very tiny. But do you know what Alice did when that happened? When she became very tiny she realized that that tiny keyhole was now large enough for her to walk through. So she did not use her ‘smallness’ as a disadvantage; she used it as her strength.

Read Alice in Wonderland, friends. It’s about you and me. Every time we take a bite of that cake, which seems so tempting and tasty and sweet, suddenly that cake (and many of us have taken a bite of that cake called ‘divinity’ or ‘spirituality’) has made us ‘larger’ only in a false perception. What happened to Alice when she was large? She couldn’t get out of the room. She was stuck in a situation; Alice had to become ‘small’ again. Alice had to become ‘human’ and then there was an opening ready for Alice.

Now comes the question: if you find it difficult define yourself in human terms of growth and growing, why, why is it so important for you to be ‘spiritual’? What are you resisting about your ‘humanness’? What are you hoping to attain when you feel a deep need for others to know that you have this amazing energy that you can radiate? You have energies which you can radiate? You don’t have humanness which you can radiate? Why do you need the 10th dimension energies within you to make you feel significant? Is it so that when you emanate those energies to another, you begin to feel good about yourself? What is this game that I play? Can I not hold the other’s hand and say, “Friend, all that I can give to you is ALL THAT I AM”? And that is ALL you can give another. You can give the purest essence of your humanness, but that is what you must be able to access. And how will you access it when you are in a state of constant rejection of it?

So S, you don’t like failure, and that is the root of your procrastination: I would rather not do an activity than do it and have to face failure in it. Why? Because through that failure S would learn how gloriously human he is.

Dear, dear friends, what scares us about our humanness? Is it the fact that we all have pasts which we need to resolve? And if that is what scares you, why? Why does it scare you? Because maybe, you have put a label of ‘bad’ and ‘ugly’ and ‘evil’ upon it, and none of us like to feel ‘bad’ and ‘ugly’ and ‘evil’. And is it because we don’t want to put that label on ourselves, that we, as a human, race, create people upon whom we can comfortably apply those labels? Think of it.

As a first step, don’t try and resolve the situation. Think of which label you are placing on that situation, on yourself, on another. If that person who is creating a situation for you, is, let us assume, over-bearing, dominating, arrogant….. is that also you? Is that you?

And K, how can you have a purpose in your life, if you don’t know who you are? For there to be a purpose, there has to be a defined person who will have a purpose. Our definitions, very often, come from another person’s definition, and that is why we need people. Why is there such a lack of fulfillment and attainment in so many of us? Because, K, you can only attain a purpose when you have defined who I AM, and you can only define that in very human terms, because that is the only language you truly know and understand.

We all use the words ‘Divine Love’ but N, when I asked you what is Divine Love, you haven’t been able to clearly define it. Why? Because it’s not your word. It’s not your word. But if I asked you to define for me ‘powerlessness’, if I asked you to define for me ‘helping others’, you’d be able to define it completely because it’s your language, it’s who you are.

As we grow, must we reject that which we ARE… or as we grow, must we gloriously accept ALL That We Are? And yes, in that acceptance, you will realize lack of commitment is an area that you not comfortable with any more. It is an area, G, that ‘I am growing into’. And as soon as you say to yourself I am growing into commitment, you will allow yourself to grow. But as long as you keep telling yourself, my area of weakness is that I cannot commit, you will not be able to commit because in your judgment you have defined yourself.

We haven’t understood the Divine Wisdom when it has urged us do not be judgmental. The Divine Wisdom was not telling us not to be judgmental of another; the Divine Wisdom was telling us, “Beautiful one, do not be judgmental of yourself.” But we didn’t hear that because we were hearing a foreign language of spirituality, and we convinced ourselves that it will make me good. People will think well of me. I will belong to this Jade Fire group, if I do not judge another. And in that, S, you forgot, you just forgot not to judge yourself.

And when you constantly judge yourself, how can you sustain a relationship? To sustain a relationship, YOU must be in it. But you don’t even know who I AM, so how can YOU be in it? How can you sustain a relationship when you’re not even there? It’s as foolish as telling Z to sustain my relationship with Y: Z you do it for me while I am away! Is that possible? Can Z do that for me? No. So, how can the situation resolve itself when you’re not even in it? You are not in it; your lack is in it; your weakness is in it. YOU are not in it. And is your lack you? Yes! But is that ALL of you? No. And for relationships to be balanced, nurturing, sustaining, All of You has to be in All of the relationships, in All of the situations.

K, sometimes the desire to learn, the desire to assimilate Divine Wisdom, becomes a purpose which hides from us who is it that needs the wisdom. You are trying to frame the purpose when you are absent of that vital wisdom, and it will never take place. You have to go beyond the seeking of the wisdom, and see who is assimilating this wisdom and then that ‘WHO’ will consciously and deliberately create his purpose.

K, there is no Divine purpose that will be given to you; you can have 50 sessions with me and at the end of them all, you will still say, “Ell, what is my purpose?” Ell can’t define it. So when you say there is a lack of purposelessness, I counter that by saying K, why haven’t you sat down and consciously created your purpose? Could it be that you haven’t created a purpose that you consider spiritual enough? Is that what you’re looking for… that intangible, unknown, spiritual purpose, which does not exist?

You must learn to have faith in YOU, and you can have faith in YOU when you know who YOU are, when you do not use any crutches. Before the Masters gave us Divine Wisdom, we used our parents, we used our spouses, we used our lovers, we used our siblings, we used our friends as our crutches and more often than not, we saw them all being taken away. And now when we have wisdom, incomplete wisdom, but wisdom nevertheless, we use the Masters, we use Divinity, we use energies as our crutches. So we are so thrilled when we go for a session and implanting of energy takes place. So glorious! Now I need not be ‘human’ anymore! Sohrab has implanted the energies of XYZ of the cosmos in me. I need not ever be ‘human’ again. And for two glorious days you fly, and on day three comes your ‘humanness’ and gives you a kick on the rear and says, “Where were you?”

If you have the courage, here and now, intent: I, consciously and deliberately, reject any and every energy, except that which is mine own, implanted into me. You don’t need Ashtaar energy, you don’t need Plaeidian energy, you don’t need any energy except that which is your own. If you reject your energy, can you ever truly accept another? Then all you are doing is playing a mind game with yourself.
Ask yourself the question: what was the purpose of that implantation? Do you even know that? Did you come out of a session and ask a Divyaa or a Zaf or an Ellaeenah or a Sohrab: but why have you put this energy into me? Not at all! Why bother? It’s just such an ego high. I have an energy implant which XYZ doesn’t have. Why must I even know what it’s for? If you had asked the Master: what was that energy for? you might have been very disappointed if the Master had said for you to use to make a little more money for yourself. And you would have said Ah? No spiritual purpose? I don’t have to emanate it to anyone? I don’t have to clean another person’s grid? I don’t need it to heal? I don’t want implants to make money with. Why? Its so so…HUMAN! Having fun is so ‘human’, isn’t it, D? Having fun is so ‘human’. What a waste of my life if I’m only ‘human’!

And if the Masters had implanted energies in you to emanate it to all, then ask… why is this purpose not being fulfilled? Why are people not coming to me for that? Because, my beautiful friend, till you are fully HUMAN you will not emanate these energies to anyone. They will dissipate, they will fade away, and you will be even emptier than you ever were. And then you will look for another crutch and another crutch and sometimes, M, that kind of man or woman, in your life, is your crutch; yes, even when they are unpleasant; even when that crutch is all knobbly and rough and unpolished, it’s a crutch. I can’t walk without it because I don’t know who I am, so even if the man in my life tells me that I am this and I am that and I’m all that is ugly, at least it gives me a definition. Having any definition is better than not having one at all.

(Inaudible)

Wonderful! This time have complete joy in the fact that you, as a human being, have acknowledged (may not be at this level of the mind but have acknowledged) that you have the strength now to be without a crutch. For the first time in your life, your feet are saying Notice ME. I am there for that purpose. Stand on me. And then S, no Master can come through no medium and ‘break’ you because no Master and no medium would DARE, because when the Master would come before your presence, they would bow before the fullness of your humanness. They would not dare to tell you that you cling.

Go home today and erase this second language. Let us be proud that we are human. Let us be proud that we have failed so many times because every failure, S, has made you the success that you are. I asked someone, that day, whose had traumatic experiences and said, “I would never wish this upon another” and I said, “Yes, I agree but where you are now, is it because of that? Is it because of that? And you know that’s true, so would you then change one moment of it. You would not wish it on another but for yourself, would you change one moment of it?” And the person replied NO.

Don’t be like someone else. Don’t compare yourself, Sh. Everyone is only a human being; that is your perspective. Mine is: EVERY ONE IS HUMAN and there is no ‘only’ in my definition.

Have you ever questioned how large Divinity is? You have, haven’t you? Haven’t we all thought how big is this cosmos? How big is this universe? How big is God? How powerful is Divinity? We’ve questioned that. Have you questioned, S, how big am I? How powerful am I? And if you have never questioned that, how can the Universe, which is your slave, answer that for you? The law is: Ask and You Shall Be Answered, but you haven’t asked; you haven’t asked.

As a group, we have asked how big, how wise, how expansed, how powerful is this Universe, is this Cosmos? And we’ve received our answers. Week after week, we’ve had these awesome Cosmic Masters giving us wisdom, which G states is that which I want to access. I want to access wisdom, which is not mine. Then whose, G? Then whose? Ells? Is that what you’re doing? Is that the trap you’re getting caught into, which D got caught into? I want to be Ell. Really? Ask yourself really do I want to be Ell? Are you willing to then experience all Ell’s flaws and weaknesses? Because if you want to be Ell you have to experience her fully and if you don’t, don’t compare yourself to her. Don’t compare yourself to ANYONE. Ask yourself, G, how big am I? How wise am I? Universe, through my trance, through my channeling, show me how wise I am. And then will come the words.

We compare ourselves to anything and everything, whether it be another human being or to the Masters, and transcript after transcript has one person, at least, stating, “But Sir, you are a Master.” What does that make you? A slave? What does that make you? It certainly makes you the very opposite of all that you have defined as Master, in that one sentence: you are a Master. Then define Master for yourself and you will see that you have defined yourself as everything opposite to that definition of Master….. and you still wish to grow. And you will grow. You will grow in that definition of yourself. You will grow situations, which you cannot grow out of. You will grow into relationships, which make you feel small and powerless. You will grow into being stuck because that is what you have defined yourself as. When you do not define yourself consciously, you define yourself subconsciously.

How we love going for an aura reading, isn’t it K? And then that person will say, “K, this part of the aura is great, but I can see a lot of denseness here” and K will instantly say yes. And what is your aura, K? It is your energy…. and you ask someone else to define it for you! What power have you given to that person? You have given him the Power of Absolute Truth. There is no greater power than that. The only one who holds Absolute Truth of you is YOU. When I tell you something of you, it is only my perception and it is my perception that comes out of the mirrors of my truth, which is not an Absolute Truth; it’s constantly changing, it’s constantly evolving, it’s constantly modifying and you are giving me the Power of Absolute Truth. And then that creates a ‘situation’ and you can’t get out of it till you take back the Power of Absolute Truth into yourself. And when you take that power of Absolute Truth into yourself, in that all-encompassing, you see yourself from every angle.

Go home and define yourselves again.

Thank you.