26.03.2005 (Pune)

Talk by Ellaeenah

Self-honour

Firstly, I don’t think there is anything as self-honour; I think only honour. I’ll explain why. When I use the word ‘self’ (this is my twist on it), when I use the word ‘self’, in my mind I associate it with who I am, my I AM Presence, my very essence of spirit; that for me is SELF. Versus the I AM is the I AM NOT, which I call my ego presence. For me honour is all about SELF. I know (and several times, the Masters have even told us) that for there to be complete honour, one should have honour in one’s self, soul, as well as, one’s ego. I haven’t yet come to that place where I can completely honour my ego presence. I know why it is so. I have had past incarnations of being in positions of great power, great status. I have been a queen many times. From that has come my ego presence of great arrogance which, in this lifetime, I have chosen to completely overcome. When I overcome it completely, I know that I will have honour of my ego presence; till then, till my ego presence still has the residuary energies of arrogance, there will always be this conflict within me where, when I say I honour my ego presence, the whole aspect of arrogance will still come up and look me in the face.

But true honour is in both; and I know that. You have to honour yourself for who you are… I AM… and for who you are not… the ego… because were it not for the ego you wouldn’t be where you are. Our whole journey is from the I AM NOT to the I AM and, therefore, greater honour needs to be awarded to the I AM NOT. It is the strength and the courage of you, as the I AM NOT, that has undertaken this journey to attain the I AM. There is no great striving for honour in the I AM; that’s already who you are. You don’t have to really strive to be who you are; you already are this great, magnificent soul. The striving is to get away from the I AM NOT, and therefore it is that striving that is worthy of honour.

I think this is a subject I really need to acknowledge. It’s the honour of my ego presence that I really need to acknowledge. When one acknowledges that, the honour of the small ‘self’, the honour of the ego ….. To honour ourselves for all that we are NOT, because when we look at the I AM NOT and we put before it a mirror, like a mirror that reflects an opposite image, the I AM NOT will only reflect the I AM. So your rage will reflect a righteous anger against what your soul knows to be the TRUTH, and the soul strives with the power of this righteous anger, which is not an unhealthy rage, to attain what is right for you. Out of arrogance, which is the I AM NOT, comes a joy in being proud of the position of leader that you have, a true leader. Not everyone in the universe is a leader; those of us who are, we have to be proud of that. But very often, from the I AM NOT comes the arrogance of that; but in that arrogance, lies the strength of courage to see your own I AM NOT and then move from arrogance to true pride at being one of the leaders of the universe. And this applies for everything that we are NOT. In that WE ARE NOT is what WE ARE. And if we could make a list, as I have done, and write down all that you are not, and within each aspect of what you are not see the reflection of what you are, you will be able to find the honour of the ego, the smaller self and there will be true honour of who you are and who you are not.

The conflict between ego and self arises, very often, because in our desire to be All That We Are, we wish to push ego out of the ‘car’ and ego knows that it cannot leave that car. That car would be incomplete. It needs both passengers, ego and soul, and ego fights hard to stay there, often shouting, “Can you not see that I am needed? I can’t leave.” And the more you push, the more ego pushes back and the conflict arises. When you tell the ego, “I don’t want you to leave. I just you to shift position and move over to the back seat” ego says, “That’s fine. I’m in the same car. If you need me to move, of course I’ll move”. It’s like when I want to drive I just tell Yez, “Hon, please slide over. I want to drive” but if I tried pushing Yezad out of the car, there would be a very big conflict. (Laughter) And that is exactly what we need to do: not push the ego out but just to say, “Shift a little please. I want to drive today”.