PAINFUL TEENAGE YEARS----

“Oh mum, can you believe I will be 15 years old in just a few more years?!” I said to my mother at the sweet ignorant age of 10. At that age everything was so much fun; life was just so simple, so uncomplicated …..  such a piece of cake.

I am sixteen now. And cannot remember the last night that I did not cry myself to sleep, the last day I did not feel pain, the last time I smiled for more than 15 minutes. I crave to go back to being 10 years old again....

Somehow with the onset of the teens, the differences of opinion between my mother and me have grown. I cannot understand her, and I often feel that she does not know who I am any more.  At the same time, the love between my mother and I grows stronger, and my heart feels crushed every time I look into my dear mother’s eyes that are filled with hurt when I have yelled at her. I share with her confidences most other girls would not talk of to their mothers, and yet, the arguments persist. People tell me that this part of growing up, but I just refuse to accept it. 

At school I strive to be an excellent student, work hard to be good at sports as well as academics. Try hard to get people to like the person I am instead of the person I have pretended to be all these years. In the past 10 years of my school life I have managed to be satisfactorily popular amongst both the teachers and students. I am surrounded by an ocean of people but somehow feel so alone, so lonely and so left-out.

The most difficult part of a teenager’s life is that we want attention all the time….but we want it on our terms!! My father is at work all day; my mother is busy managing two jobs very ably…one at work, and one at home. I want them to pay attention to me…but a part of me tells me that I am being unreasonable…and another part shouts back…yes, I have a right to unreasonable… I am a teenager!!!

One night, in a dream, I saw an old man with a soft, mild, loving expression, walking towards me. He asked me the reason for the pain he saw in my eyes. I told him my story and he laughed. I felt a great fury swell within me. How dare this strange man laugh at my problems??? Did he not understand what I have been going through for the past four years??? But, there was something about his eyes that was just so comforting and gentle. Softly he asked me what I had learnt from all that I had gone through…. what I was thankful for. I was perplexed. My mind, a blank. After some thought, I answered. I am thankful for having parents. Even if they are a little difficult to fathom sometimes, they are always there to hug me at the beginning and end of every day. So many children don’t have this. I am grateful for my younger brother whose hugs dry away my tears. I am grateful for all my friends who love me so completely for the person I am that I do not need to put up any facades. I am thankful for my dreams, and my parents who wholeheartedly support them.

My dream made me realize that we, as teenagers, get so caught up in our numerous demands that we do not have time to be grateful for all that we do have. It is this lack of gratitude that makes the teenage years more painful, because there is always some demand lying unfulfilled.

Yes, these years are rough, but it is time that each of us learns to take responsibility for our lives and be grateful and appreciative, learn to love and feel joy. Yes, we feel constantly misunderstood, but how many times do we try to understand the emotional turbulence present in the lives of our parents?  Yes, being told what to do is annoying, but isn’t it true that we do need our parents’ guidance more than we would like to admit? Yes, younger siblings can be such an embarrassment, but aren’t they in our corners all the time, taking up for us even when we are wrong? Yes, we hate our parents asking us questions, but isn’t it true that our lack of communication causes an even greater rift between our parents and us? C’mon teenagers let us admit our flaws and take one step everyday to strengthen our family bonds…in that lies the secret of our joy.

Sanaeya D.

crazy_sanaeya@hotmail.com