Looking Inward to Redemption
 
© Ellaeenah
 
 
Many confuse looking inward with ‘passivity’.  Looking ‘inward’ is NOT a
passive process at all.  It is most dynamic; it is in fact one that can cause the greatest upheaval within you. Passivity is a sign of running away from everything; internal as well as external. Looking inward is to turn one’s vision upon one’s own self.  Place one’s soul before one and learn the lessons the soul desires you to learn.  Every circumstance, every individual is meant for one purpose and for one purpose alone.  To teach you a lesson, to make you recall a truth, to make you take responsibility.  Passivity is doing NOTHING.  When the dynamic process of inward searching is on, then one knows what actions one needs to take, one knows what words one needs to speak, and these actions and these words will not come out of resentment, will not come out of hate, will not come out of anger, but will come out of self-respect and mutual respect for another. But this can only happen when there is ‘inward searching’; not passivity.
 
It is not like self-evaluation because that is an assessment of the mind, just as obsession also occurs in the mind. The soul never obsesses. It does not need to, because it does not ‘think’. We all have ‘lifelines’ that we cling onto even though our hold over them may be tenuous. Your fears are your lifelines. Your anger is your lifeline, your resentment is your lifeline, your worry and anxiety is your lifeline, your depression and feelings of loneliness is your lifeline. You wonder how these are your lifelines. Because you have used these lifelines to hold on to set patterns of conditioned reaction and behaviour.
 
Nature has provided you with two sets of ‘lifelines’.  A lifeline of ‘fear’ will always come with a lifeline of ‘courage’ and ‘Will’.  A lifeline of ‘anger’ will always come with a lifeline of ‘understanding and love’.  A lifeline of ‘depression’ will always come with a lifeline of ‘hope and joy’. But, through generations, as the earth has evolved and as human beings have evolved with it, and as you have come so close to this critical point in your evolution, society has conditioned all to believe that the only lifelines you have are those of fear, anger, loneliness and sorrow.
 
In the process of evolution, man has come to that point where he has to face fears, pains which seem larger than himself because man moves from ‘NOT I’   to  ‘I AM’.   I is the soul; the soul is not fearful, the soul is not angry, the soul is not judgmental, the soul is not lonely, the soul is not sorrow, and the soul is not worry. The soul is joy, the soul is love, the soul is peace, and the soul is Light.  But you must walk along this path of ‘Not I’ and then find your own path to ‘I AM’.  And as this point comes closer in the circle of evolution, fears and angers seem to
loom larger than they did in the past.  They may take on horrifying proportions not only on a personal front but globally as well. It is at this point of escalation, that some will surrender their physicality and others, stronger, will face this giant ‘Not I’ and maybe with one swift step or maybe several small ones, will overcome the ‘Not I’ and will forever be the ‘I AM’.
 
Let us turn our attention briefly to the Light that we are composed of.
 
Light is Eternal, gentle, all surrounding, all knowing. It pulses, and with every pulsation emits a wave which increases the light and thus the light spreads till all is Light.  There is no darkness.  In fact darkness is not known. The light expands so far beyond and then it knows that it must divide. Now with every pulsation of this Light the Light divides.  Sometimes large balls, sometimes small ones, and these light balls pulsate on their own.  And yet with the same pace and strength as the Origin.  And this is true glory for even as the Light divides it does not diminish.  It divides and remains whole. And now the light has divided itself   and each pulsates together. Each pulsation releases great vibrations and as these vibrations get stronger the light turns from white to violet.  And the light begins to swirl, round and round, round and round. And some balls of light wish to take a form and so they do. With the great working of the omnipresent light, some balls begin to collect themselves into tighter and tighter and tighter and yet tighter formations which are now spinning very, very fast.   Matter is formed.
 
One such ball is the earth. You look around and you see the earth and what you see is ‘Matter’. But now when you see Matter, also see glowing within it that Eternal Light that has never died and never will. This dense matter lies for a very, very long time, spinning and swirling.  But something wonderful is taking place within this spinning ball of matter.  This spinning ball of matter divides itself into still smaller parts of matter.  And again it does not diminish.  And so you have now a large dense ball, within which and around which, are smaller balls of light which have not yet solidified into matter. The Earth is joyous, and in its moment of joy, recognizes the great love of the Light that was within it and the Omnipresent.  Now the earth charts out its own path to evolution. And these different formations of Light, merging in different ways form water, air, vegetation, human beings.  
 
We are all just tiny balls of light, created from the light that divided from the source and took this formation. The earth is millions of years old and the earth through these millions of years decided upon so many different cycles for its evolution, because what is most beautiful of all is that whenever Light separates from the Omnipresent, it does so with only one purpose - to experience itself completely and then once again to merge with the Great Light.  And each little separation of light, decides on its own path towards the merging and so NO path is WRONG and NO path is RIGHT. It is only a path.  And the earth has gone through so many different cycles, with so many different formations of the light, each experiencing itself completely. And when a formation experiences itself completely, it does not need the denseness of matter and merges with the light of the Omnipresence, and once again the Omnipresent Light of the earth divides to form yet another and more beautiful formation.  And evolution proceeds thus because every time a formation completes its own individual cycle of evolution and merges with the Omnipresent Light, it adds its own luminosity, it adds its own spark of experience to the Light.  And thus every future formation is even more wondrous. This is why so many plants, animals, reptiles, birds of the past are not present in the world today. They completed their limited cycle of evolution.
 
The earth has never lost its connection with the Great Light.  The earth is a living, breathing, pulsating ball of light just as you are.  Now envision this picture. You, each one of you individually, is a little earth. You have separated your own light into your own formations - eyes, ears, nose, hair, hands, toes, organs, all these wonderful formations of light. But you have divided yourself and still are connected. If the Earth did not feel a connection with a part of its creation, that creation must then end its cycle and merge. Your little microcosm runs on similar lines. If you do not feel the connection, complete and whole, with every part, that part will end its evolution process and shut down. Develop a connection to every part of you and you will be in a perfection of health. When you as a microcosm finish one small subsidiary cycle in your larger cycle of evolution, for a short while you will rest, you will merge with the light, but soon you will form into something more beautiful. It is miraculous to behold that through all time and through no time, there has never been a moment of darkness. I repeat there has never been a moment of darkness. Darkness is a condition created deliberately so that you might go along the path of NOT I.
 
You do not need anything to communicate with the light, for you are the light itself. Do not undermine the importance of the min, either. It is this mind that takes you on the path of evolution of NOT I so that you proceed to I AM. The mind is playing out a little drama but do not allow it to take centre stage. The mind takes you on the path on NOT I. You, as the soul consciousness, must then form your own path to the I AM. The role of the mind is to present to you NOT I.
 
In this process of evolution there is experience. Everyone wishes to experience everything.  You wish to experience being judgmental. You wish to experience being of an irritable temperament. You wish to experience fear and apprehension.  You wish to experience forgiveness, tolerance, surrender, empathy, compassion, love.
 
When you are inward turned, you choose, moment to moment, very consciously, what you choose to experience. If there is no conscious choice you are akin to a tiny boat being gathered up by the waves of common thought and being tossed around by limiting conditioning. When there is no conscious choice, the unconscious acts as a puppeteer, making you react without conscious self-control. This is passivity. Looking inward helps the soul to regain control of the strings from the hand of the puppeteer. Looking inward transforms the energy of the unconscious mind into the soul-filled power of the conscious mind.
 
Passivity makes you a victim of circumstance, causing you to believe that you are helpless, that you have no options, that you are running in one spot, that you are powerless in relationships, that you have no ability to make the shifts you desire.  The danger lies in the fact that the unconscious leads you to exactly that which you believe is true!!
 
Looking inward helps you to see the conflicts more clearly by shifting your mind from blame to self-responsibility. You transform from victim to initiator. You begin to see that you are not without resources and support structures as you once believed you were, but are far more resourceful and stronger than ever imagined. Out of the illusion of darkness you see a very definite ray of the light of hope. You KNOW that you are LIGHT that can never diminish.