Not My Enemy
Today’s parable is about an angry woman. An angry, young woman named Jessica. She remembers being angry all her life. Very angry. But, like many of us, she was brought up to believe that genteel women do not express rage or aggression. Thus, the anger was well hidden behind the demeanour of a woman who was soft, gentle and compassionate. No one, but Jessica, knew about the silent rage. Very often, as a child, she questioned herself, ‘Am I angry about ‘nothing’, or am I angry about ‘something’? This became her quest. One day, this young lady read an article in the newspaper, and collided with the source of her rage. She remembered!!!!! The sexual abuse she had experienced as a very young child, the betrayal even stronger because the perpetrator was the man she had trusted unquestioningly, adored blindly…her father. When she acknowledged the source of her anger, she abruptly left home. Never saying a word. Never to return. Her mother died many years later, a deeply unhappy woman, who had never understood what had made her daughter leave, why her daughter had chosen never to see her or her father. This made Jessica even more angry. Angry with her father whom she blamed for being the cause of this unbridgeable distance between her and her mother, whom she loved so dearly.
Years went by, as they normally do, and Jessica started to grey. But, she could not sustain a relationship. Each time a man entered her life, there would be a violent outburst on Jessica’s part, and the relationship would end even before it had a chance to grow. Jessica knew all too well that it was the sexual abuse that she had received as a child that was responsible for this, but she seemed to have no control over this pattern. Who was she punishing? Herself, the men, or her father?
One day, quite by chance, she met a loving woman who taught Jessica about the angels; taught her to connect with them, taught her how to make them an integral part of her life. One day, when yet another outburst of anger had left her spent and exhausted, Jessica prayed to the angels to free her from this inner demon. She received a very prompt reply, but one which made her even angrier. “Go, meet your father!” ‘Is this how you are freeing me from anger?’ she ranted as she paced her apartment for many hours. Soon, though, she decided that the angels would not guide her thus, and that this had been her mind’s trickery. She prayed again, and was loathe to receive the same reply. She wondered, ‘Have the angels turned against me?’ But deep within her she knew the truth; Angels are here in service to us. With unconditional love, they serve us, seek only the best for us. She had personally experienced this over and over again.
After many weeks of deep turmoil, she placed her faith in her beloved angels, and began a search for her father. The old house had been sold after her mother’s passing, and she didn’t know where her father had moved. She was, indeed, very surprised to find that her father had moved away from the city of her birth, and was not not very far from her current home. The angels had ensured that her excuse of ‘it is too far away’ would not work. This had to be done! Putting her emotions aside, she decided that she would knock at the door, say her well-rehearsed lines about how much she hated him for all that he had done to her, look him in the eye, and tell him how much she despised whom he had turned her into. This decision made her feel much better. She would do this the very next day. After all, hadn’t it been her father who had taught her not to procrastinate?!
She went to bed that night, apprehensive, but strangely excited as well That night the angels took her on a journey to a time and place where she saw her father and herself as two very dear soul mates. Her father had been her wife in that incarnation A wonderful, beautiful, caring wife. They had had a loving relationship. In another lifetime they had been sisters, sharing a strong bond of love and affection. In yet another lifetime, they had been best friends.
The angels gave her time to recollect all these preciously shared and treasured moments. Then they took her to those long moments of decision when she and her soul mate were deeply engrossed in choosing their current earthly journeys. She became aware of how they, both, needed to undergo certain experiences which were very closely intertwined. What better way than to help each other? Who could help better than a soul mate? They planned their soul blueprints. And executed them to the letter!
When she woke up, the sun was gently warming her face, as tears streamed down Jessica's cheeks. She knew now that her father had lived with this knowledge of having done something despicable to his daughter. She wondered if he had been blessed by the awareness that the angels had just given her. She felt the pain of the guilt that he had been living with each day of his life. Her anger had completely disappeared. The deep love for her father that had never gone away, but had been thickly covered by the angry hate, suffused her entire being.
When she knocked at the door, it was opened by a man with an old, weather-beaten face. Sad, lonely eyes. In spite of the passage of time, he recognised her instantly, and she saw deep love fill his eyes with tears. Then, they became wide with fear. ‘Why had she come? Is this revenge?' Jessica felt no need to enter the house. She looked at him, and said softly, very very gently, “Father, I love you. As much as I always have. I have come to thank you for what you have done for me. I want you to know that I forgive you”. She smiled. With love. And slowly walked back to her car. Free. Free to love again. Trust again.
With silent sobs racking his frail body, the old man shut the door, and fell onto his knees, thanking God for having answered his prayer. For all of these lonely years, he had had only one prayer. ‘Let my daughter come to my doorstep, and say “Father, I forgive you”. Gently, he breathed his last, with a deep smile on his face, his heart filled with love and gratitude.
(Inspired by a parable of Kryon)