It seemed as if Mary was born to be a mother. Whereas her friends would enjoy playing with their two or three dolls, tiring of this after a while, Mary would play with her twenty dolls, looking after them, feeding them, changing their clothes, and singing to them, never tiring of this. No other activity gave her more joy, and wherever she was, Mary would wish to return home to her dolls.
Whenever Mary was asked, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”, Mary did not have to think before answering, “I want to be a mother”. As a teenager, Mary was the most sought after baby-sitter. The adults loved her. The children loved her. The naughtiest child caused no disruption when Mary was around, and the shyest one spoke to Mary like an old friend. Right through college, and into her first job, Mary was absolutely certain that she could have a serious relationship with only that man who shared her dream of having a large family. When her parents realized that Mary’s definition of ‘large’ was more than five children, they believed that marriage was probably not charted for Mary, as they had not met any modern day young man who would be happy to have five or more children. Their amazement, and delight, knew no bounds when Mary brought home a young man who not only desired to have many children, but also had the financial means to support a large family.
The wedding ‘day’ was, in fact, a week of joyous celebrations, and, needless to say, there were many, many children present, and events that were arranged specifically keeping the children in mind. Mary knew that in Tom she had found her perfect man. She looked forward to getting pregnant immediately. But as time went by, Mary’s heart became heavier with each monthly period. She visited the gynaecologist who ran extensive tests only to break her heart with the news that Mary was barren. Those words darkened Mary’s world, and she could not remember a time when she had felt this devastated. She knew deep in her heart that in all of her previous incarnations she had been a mother of very large families. She also felt strongly in her soul that her purpose in this life was to be a mother yet again. Had she been wrong all along? Had she deluded herself?
As though this news was not heartbreaking enough, Mary was soon faced with the fact that Tom wanted a divorce. He wished to remarry, and have the kids he longed for. Though she begged and pleaded, he refused to agree to adoption. ‘I love you Mary, but just as you have dreamt of having your own children, so have I. My heart bleeds for you, and for us, but I must do what I can to fulfil my dream.’
The tragic news of her barrenness, and the ensuing divorce, changed Mary. Soon people began to notice that Mary, a gentle, loving person, was now embittered, harsh, and angry. Very angry. At the slightest opportunity she raged against this unjust God who had made her barren. But, not even her anger could take away her love for the children. She was always there for them. Often she would get calls in the middle of the night from young mothers who didn’t know what to do when their child just wouldn’t stop crying, or was suffering from painful colic. One had hurt his head; another had been bitten by a dog. They would all call Mary, and Mary instinctively knew just what to do. Ironically, each time she was able to help, she got even angrier with God who had given her this wealth of intuitive knowledge but had denied her motherhood.
One day Mary was trapped in a downpour that caught her unawares without an umbrella. The rain pelted down, making it impossible for Mary to see where she was walking. As she wondered what to do, she saw a brightly lit board that said ‘Open to All. Free entry. Come in if your soul guides you to.’ Intrigued, Mary found herself entering the hall. She told herself that she would stay there till the rain stopped. She saw a woman on the stage addressing a motley group who were clearly listening with rapt attention. Mary took one of the empty seats at the back, close to the door, so that she could slip out quietly. Before she knew it, Mary had forgotten about the rain, as the talk about soul blueprints, soul choices, past life residues and soul missions gently dissolved the anger of the past few years. Before she left the meeting that night, she had scheduled a private appointment with Anne, the speaker.
Anne helped Mary understand that her intuitive wisdom was the past life residue that she had accumulated from being a mother in so many lifetimes, but that her current life soul mission was not what she believed it was. In one of the visions that she had in a private session with Anne, Mary saw a lot of books that she could not recognise, but which had Mary’s name upon them. She realised then, that her mission was not to be a mother, but to be the source of wisdom, strength and guidance for other mothers. Mary felt liberated. Joyously, she began to write books that became instant successes. Having no familial responsibilities, she was able to devote all her time to sharing the wisdom that she had accumulated over incarnations. And shower her unconditional love upon every child she met.
When Mary died forty years to that rainy day when she had entered that hall, the church and its grounds were filled with grandparents, mothers, fathers, and children, whose lives had been enriched by a Divine Mother who had touched their hearts with love. Her tombstone read very simply, ‘Here lies Mary, our Mother. She made our lives easier’.
(Inspired by a parable of Kryon)