I Promise To Break You

-EllaeenahJadeFire

There were times, when I was the one who ended things. Rejected. Walked away. And then, suddenly, it changed. Someone I loved, someone who felt like ‘home’, a soul constant, walked away from me, I hid the pain by pretending it didn’t matter. Then I turned to anger to befriend me. I didn’t want to see the pain. But that never works, does it?

Finally, I addressed it. I looked for answers. No answers came, but what did come were more relationships that were either meaningless or fraught with conflict. Years later, when another very valued relationship threatened to hit the rocks, and friendships that I believed were the ‘forever’ kind, turned out to be anything but, I began to see that there was a pattern I hadn’t noticed before. By then I had also learnt  that ‘turning point’ events bring vital lessons to our doors.

That’s when I looked more closely. What if the breakdown of relationships and friendships wasn’t an accident at all? What if, in reality, there was no one to blame? What if these events were pushing me towards deeper truths that I was turning away from? This was my OMG moment! I had to get to the bottom of this!

Thus my journey to understanding the mystery of soul contracts began. As I delved deeper, and more truthfully, as I spoke to those far wiser than me, read books that were life-changing, I understood that my soul had made promises with people and situations, much before I was born. Promises that said, ‘I promise to come into your life when you need me to. Yes, I shall always love you, but I may have to hurt you, walk away from you, disown you. I promise to do this because you are too dear to me to let you remain in the same state of unawareness. I promise to help you change and evolve. Not because I need you to change, but because you so deeply desire that for yourself. When I do this for you, please do not blame me or judge me. Only remember the eternal love we share.’

And they kept their word. Not a single one failed to honour the sacred contract that my soul had asked them to enter into for the purpose of my deepening. My awakening. The darkness of pain, blame, and bitterness, vanished in the light of this consciousness. With deep love and gratitude for each one of them, I understood, and learnt, the painful but necessary lessons, the soul contracts brought to my awareness.

And that's when something joyful happened. New friendships enriched my life. I don’t know how and when they entered this heart that feared to love and trust. I recognised them as soul contracts as well, but these promises have brought me immeasurable happiness. The friends who show up like family, never hesitating to help, support, heal. The family that anchors and loves even when I am not my best version.

Each one has been a soul contract. Some have brought storms into my life. Others have brought me peacefully to the shore. Both have shaped me. And all have kept their solemn word, making me who I am today. Awakened.

If you’ve been wounded by certain people, if you are living with their footprints still in your heart, if you are going through life patterns that are trying to get your attention, know this - these are dear soul friends keeping their promise to you, so that you can come closer to who you really are.